Life is one big balancing ball. Some stay on easily, some waver, and some continually fall off. I think the best life lived, has a little bit of all three.
I have LOVED staying home with you every day for the last 17 months Miss Ellie. I have gotten to see every milestone, fall, giggle, boo boo and smile this last year and a half. At times, it was exhausting, lonesome, and frustrating, but the thought that I have got to kiss you before every nap and catch you each time you fell, has made it all worth it.
The last couple months, I have realized something. You are starting to grow a pair of tiny wings. You are turning into a little girl. You now like to sometimes play on your own, help around the house and have your own opinions. As I see you turning into this little person, I realized I wasn't wanting you to grow up. You growing up (even though you are still a baby) meant that you already are starting to spread your wings. Even though those wings are quite tiny, they are beginning to sprout, and I need to nurture those wings as they begin to grow.
Succinct with those thoughts, was the pulling desire to return to work part time. I am passionate about what I do, and the difference I can make, in the Public Health Field. I said to myself, if I can find a part time job in Public Health and find the PERFECT place for you to start your journey of some independence and growth, then I would consider it.
I thought it would bring more balance to both of our lives.
The stars aligned and I found a part time job, was offered the position, and accepted when I found a pre-school that I know will help you learn and grow. It is called HoneyBees and I am so excited for you to start the program Ellie. We went to observe the class and you fell in love with it. You were so upset when we had to leave. :) Watching you interact with those kids; you joined right in with the singing, dancing and clapping.....I saw those tiny wings grow a little more, and I knew then we had made the right decision.
I start my new job in two weeks and I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm excited, scared, nervous etc. I feel so grateful that I will still get two full days at home with you during the week, and the other days, you will be playing, interacting and learning, in a beautiful setting.
I'm so glad your wings are still tiny. I can't even imagine the day when they will be complete enough for you to fly....but for now I'm glad they are starting to grow, and so are mine.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard
