Ahh a perfect day...

Ellie you are about to be a big sister.  I am so excited for you...and I think you are too.  You are turning into such a big girl...I can't believe you are potty trained...sleeping in a big girl bed...singing to daddy and I and having conversations with us.

I have to tell a funny story before we forget.  This weekend I had practice and you were having daddy daughter time...

Daddy said to you:

Ellie are we buddies? No.... Ellie are we friends? Nooooo Ellie am I your daddy...nooo...well what am I....You're a grandma!!  You laughed so hard and so did daddy.  It was officially your first joke.

You are bringing us so much joy and laughter these days but I am getting teary thinking you wont be the baby anymore.  You haven't been a baby for quite some time now but having a baby coming soon puts that more into perspective.

You amaze us every day with how you think and how you view the world.

Your recent say is ahhh perfect day.  You seem to day it when you are happy and at the end of the day.  It warms our hearts more than anything....every day seems to be a perfect day to you. If only we all looked at life like that....for that day no matter what happened it was a perfect day...because you got to live it.

I always hope you view your days as a perfect day...and continue to bring laughter to everyone you are around.

Those four little words...

The last two weeks have been a big set of changes.  You are now in a big girl bed, daddy finished the attic for a play room, we have been trying to potty train and no more "passie" at bedtime.  That is a lot of change little one....but you are always up for a new adventure and we knew you could handle it.

With all of these changes we are trying to encourage you to especially go on the potty like a big girl....and then the phrase started...

"I can't do it"

First of all...I really hope you learned that at school and not at home...those four little words are like nails on a chalkboard to me. At two years old you attack everything with such exuberance and excitement; those four words should not be in your vocabulary yet...(well I would like to say if ever).

But they are and we are trying to correct it.  I don't care that you don't go potty every time on the potty...or listen to everything we say (as much patience as it takes I love that you already know what you want in life 90% of the time) ....BUT we will always expect you to try....and not take the easy route with I just can't do it.  I find those four little words hold so many people back in life...including myself (although I am certain I could not do a marathon well for sure I do not want to do one :)

So this morning we changed the "I can't do it" to "I don't want to"  You may not want to take off your minnie PJ's or brush your teeth or get your hat on before we go out the door....but you can do those things and from now on it will be teaching you to say "I don't want to" instead of "I can't do it"

Your stubbornness and strong will makes you who you are....and I love every piece of it...even if I do have to take deep breaths and say "I can parent you." :)

Yet?

Dear Ellie,

Part of every adults life is about knowing what you like and what you don't like...telling people things you do or don't do. For example, I am frequently telling people that "I don't drink coffee" or that "I don't ski."

There isn't any reason why I don't do these things...I just never started, so, that pretty much means I just don't do them.

On the contrary, right now, everyday you are still learning new things, even though you are at the age where you have a great understanding of the world around you. The beauty of this is that there isn't anything that you "don't do", but rather it is just something that you don't do yet.

It may seem like a trivial difference, but it is not. Typical adults have a dismissive attitude, things they haven't done are just not part of their lives and almost certainly never will. You have the opposite attitude, things you haven't done are just new opportunities to learn or try new things.

A perfect example was tonight at dinner. After seeing me eat with chopsticks tonight, you did your best to do the same no matter how difficult it was :-)

As I watch you and learn from you, I aspire to have an attitude more like yours. In fact, I think we all should take this attitude more often. Imagine how interesting and fun you life would be if you always answered questions like "No, I don't do that...yet"

Love,
Daddy

10 Commandments

Mommy's 10 Commandments that I made for myself...I need to remember these!!

1. Be content in the moment
2. Be grateful
3. Remember the big picture
4. Pray
5. Work toward your goals/don't just want them
6. Say no when it blocks your priorities
7. Accept who you are and where you are
8. Do what you are passionate about
9. Remember you cant always make everyone happy.
10. Don't forget to have fun.

I think it's important to get back to basics sometimes and focus on what you stand for and if what you are doing aligns with those beliefs. 

Proud of You

I don’t really have a lesson for you...I just have to tell you how proud I am of you Ellie. This weekend we went to Old Chicago for dinner. It was not that long ago that we couldn’t take you out to eat because you would cry and cry....We had a wonderful dinner with you. You said “please and thank you” to our waitress....said “pass” when you wanted some food on the table and said “scuse pease” when you were finished. Then sat nicely and colored until we were done eating. You are turning into such an amazing little girl. You already care about others so much....especially animals. You LOVE having fun...playing chase and running around. I look at how happy you are at this age and I pray that you can be this happy and find the little things in life as enjoyable as you do now.

I’m so proud of you honey and don’t ever forget that. LOVE YOU more than you'll ever know!

Attempting to Fit In...

This post is meant for when you are 12.  The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be you, just the way you are in this moment. We cannot find ourselves if we are always searching for, or morphing into, someone else. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. Be your own kind of beautiful right now, in the way only you know how.

Right now you know exactly who you are.  And you are 2 years old.  You know when you are hungry, when you are in trouble, when you are tired, what you want to do and how you want to do it.  It really is so beautiful.  You never think about what others think about what you are doing.  You do what you want when you want to (unless mommy or daddy say otherwise).

I wish I could live more like this. I have gotten better but continue to struggle with this one.  The truth is we get wrapped up in being concerned with what others and what the world thinks about what we are doing and how we are doing it.

It's amazing to see you play with other kids.  You are so confident and fearless. If you want to swing you go and swing.  If you want to wear a purple shirt with bright pink pants....well that is what you wear.

When you are older and comparing yourself to others...whether it be looks, grades, accomplishments etc...just remember God made you exactly how you are supposed to be.  Go with your instincts and never look back.

For now I am learning from you on how to do exactly what you want to do while still being compassionate and not self centered :)  It is a balance to find but one that is rewarding if you do.

For now enjoy every second of playing on your playground the way you want to.

Accepting Criticism

I believe learning to accept constructive criticism is such an important part in growing as a person.  With being a dancer and now coaching, it was ingrained in me how important it is to not take constructive criticism personally, but to take the advice and grow with it.  This took me a long time to learn and I am still learning it.  In my professional life I now see how some (women especially) take criticism so personally.  This knee jerk response, to any type of suggestion, inhibits them from doing better work and possibly even becoming a better person.  It is easy to keep blinders on and believe that your way is the right way ( I often like to believe this) but  never forget it most likely isn't the only way.  A beautiful thing about the world we live in is that we are all made differently.  God made it that way for a reason.  Opening yourself up for suggestions or criticism isn't always easy, but it is essential for growth.  I find the more centered and confident I am with myself and my life, the more open I am to peoples suggestions and thoughts.  If you know your beliefs and values, it is easier to listen to someone else's perspective and opinions.  Always take time to reflect on how you can become a better you and what that path looks like and feels like to get there.  Love you Miss Ellie....XOXO

To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility -- these are marks of maturity and graciousness.”

Love, Mommy

It's ok to cry...

It was a sad weekend at our house.  We had to send one of your best friends to kitty heaven on Friday.  Gussy had been sick for a long time and it we new it was time to let him move on to a better place.  Daddy took you upstairs to say goodbye to him.  You gave him a looonnnnggg hug and kiss...it's like you knew you were saying goodbye.  Then yesterday, you were asking about him and we said "Elliana remember gussy had to go buh bye."  You looked at us and it registered.  You put your hands up to your eyes and cried hard.  We sat on the couch as a family for about 15 minutes why you laid on daddy's chest and cried.  You knew Gus was gone.  You couldn't fully understand, but you knew.  You can hardly put a sentance together and can't sing your ABC's yet, but you already have so much compassion and love for others, especially your animals.  I was so proud of how you handled this.  You let yourself cry in a way we knew you were mourning him.  There are times where you won't always be happy, and that perfectly ok. 
When you lose a pet, or someone close, it helps me focus on what is important in life and to make every second count.  Sometimes the hard things in life help make the good things brighter.

Thank you Gus for always being so patient, loving and kind with Elliana. We will sure miss you.

Your Best Friend

There is no doubt Charlie Brown is your best friend.  You ask for him almost right when you get up and when you are going to bed.  He is your resting place when you are relaxing and your play buddy when you want to play.  He is always there for you....no matter what....no matter how tired he is (or annoyed :).  He is loyal...always happy to see you...compassionate....and so patient.  There are so many aspects about Charlie Brown that we could all learn from.  Today is his 5th birthday.

  There are many days where he is just in the background of life.  Always there, always faithful and always ready to give everyone a kiss.  His constant love and affection is often taken for granted.  Everyone that meets him says "he is so big!!"  All I can think of is that God made him that big, because he is so full of love.  He is part of the family, and your best friend.  I don't know if he will ever know how much you love him, or if you will remember your first best friend, when you are older.  But for now, we are so grateful to have him in our lives.  I think he is the first thing you truly loved (besides your dad and I :).  The saying "All Dogs go to Heaven" has to be true because he hold every positive attribute that every human being should strive to be.

Happy 5th Birthday Char, We love you.

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands.  When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat.  For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.  ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

Sunshine Delivered Daily

Every day has sunshine in it...it's if you chose to recognize it, depends on if you see it's rays.

Here is a list of 25 random and in no particular order of things that make me happy:

1. Family and Friends.

2. Fresh cut flowers on the table.

3. The smell of fresh brewed coffee.

4. An organized closet.

5. Getting a good deal.

6. Not just drinking a glass of wine, but holding it, in my hand. The same goes for coffee and a mug.

7. The sound of rain.

8. The smell of laundry.

9. Frank Sinatra music.

10. Reading old love letters.

11. Rocking you before you go to bed and after you wake up.

12. A dinner that comes together at the last minute, and is delicious.

13. Sidewalk chalk- It's cheap and keeps you busy for a very long time.

14. The feel of clean sheets.

15. Disney World.

16. Pretty wrapped gifts.

17. Watching an amazing dancer dance.

18. Watching a dancer gain confidence and improve.

19. Really good cheese.

20. Pancakes on a weekend morning.

21. Sleeping in.

22. Charlie Brown.

23. A good sermon.

24. A great run.

25. Bubble Baths.

Just reading this list makes me smile. Make your own list and focus on that!

"Anyone's life truly lived consists of work, sunshine, exercise, soap, plenty of fresh air, and a happy contented spirit. "

Tiny Wings

Life is one big balancing ball. Some stay on easily, some waver, and some continually fall off. I think the best life lived, has a little bit of all three.

I have LOVED staying home with you every day for the last 17 months Miss Ellie. I have gotten to see every milestone, fall, giggle, boo boo and smile this last year and a half. At times, it was exhausting, lonesome, and frustrating, but the thought that I have got to kiss you before every nap and catch you each time you fell, has made it all worth it.

The last couple months, I have realized something. You are starting to grow a pair of tiny wings. You are turning into a little girl. You now like to sometimes play on your own, help around the house and have your own opinions. As I see you turning into this little person, I realized I wasn't wanting you to grow up. You growing up (even though you are still a baby) meant that you already are starting to spread your wings. Even though those wings are quite tiny, they are beginning to sprout, and I need to nurture those wings as they begin to grow.

Succinct with those thoughts, was the pulling desire to return to work part time. I am passionate about what I do, and the difference I can make, in the Public Health Field. I said to myself, if I can find a part time job in Public Health and find the PERFECT place for you to start your journey of some independence and growth, then I would consider it.

I thought it would bring more balance to both of our lives.

The stars aligned and I found a part time job, was offered the position, and accepted when I found a pre-school that I know will help you learn and grow. It is called HoneyBees and I am so excited for you to start the program Ellie. We went to observe the class and you fell in love with it. You were so upset when we had to leave. :) Watching you interact with those kids; you joined right in with the singing, dancing and clapping.....I saw those tiny wings grow a little more, and I knew then we had made the right decision.

I start my new job in two weeks and I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm excited, scared, nervous etc. I feel so grateful that I will still get two full days at home with you during the week, and the other days, you will be playing, interacting and learning, in a beautiful setting.

I'm so glad your wings are still tiny. I can't even imagine the day when they will be complete enough for you to fly....but for now I'm glad they are starting to grow, and so are mine.

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard

Family

There is nothing more important than family. I'm guessing you will disagree with me when you are around 13 or so, but I promise you, there isn't. Today was a pretty average Saturday. It was an earlier morning (around 6:15am) you woke up, ready to take on the world. Daddy got up with you (like he usually does) to watch your daddy/daughter morning cartoons together.

Side-note- You are one lucky girl to have such an amazing daddy, but I could write about that forever!

After showers, and some coffee we headed out for breakfast at the Daisy Cupcakery for breakfast. There were other babies sitting right by us, at breakfast, and you couldn't stop smiling and saying "hi" to them. You Miss Ellie, seem to light up any room that you are in, it's like an infectious hug that you send to anyone that comes in contact with you.

After saying bye to the new friends we made, we headed to Whole Foods for grocery shopping where (even though you just ate breakfast) were excited to try the samples at the grocery store. The rest of the day was spent with the three of us just playing, snuggling, watching Blue's Clues and eating a great dinner. Pretty average day from an onlooker, but as I sit here tonight, all I can do is smile at how much fun I had, just being your mom today. I know, so corney (you better get used to it) but I so appreciate the family I have and the blessings I have been given.

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

-- Erma Bombeck

Scenery

I haven't posted for awhile because life has just been crazy!! In the last 30 days we have celebrated Christmas, bought a house, gone to the rose bowl, had two a day practices and went to Nationals. All that craziness then I sprain my back 3 days after being home. I have pretty much been confined to the house and the couch/bed for the last 4 days and will take around 2 weeks to heal. I have been somewhat down in the dumps about it, but yesterday I realized something. I think it took this injury for me to just slow down and appreciate what is going on around me.

Have you ever noticed grandparents fondly gazing at their families? They seem to take in every single second around them; absorbing the warmth around them. They appreciate the importance of every laugh, hug and smile from those around them. I felt like that grandparent yesterday. All I could do was sit back and watch what was going on around me....the "craziness" that I am usually trying to take care of; pets being fed, diapers being changed, laundry, cleaning etc. I watched your daddy taking care of all of that while you followed him around trying to help him. I realized how important even those little moments are and how important those day to day tasks are to keep the house running.

As I sat there like a grandparent taking in the scenery, I realized this whole back issue was a blessing in disguise...I needed to stop and watch the beautiful scenery to continue to appreciate it.

“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.” -Nicolas Sparks

When all else fails...LAUGH!

So today is gloomy, cold and Miss Ellie was up every two hours last night teething. With being sleep deprived, everything is a little more gloomy and chore like. I was just having one of those days where I was kind of in a funk (very rarely happens) but nonetheless I was.

When all of a sudden you came around the corner with this: It completely threw me off guard..I fell on the floor laughing I thought it was so funny. You went into the food drawer..pulled this huge bun out of the bag and started chomping away.

I snapped right out of my "grumpyness" Sometimes all you need is a good laugh to realize that the little things that your upset about really are little and arbitrary.

A good laugh can make all the difference....find something that makes you laugh every day!! And you Miss Ellie never are short on making us laugh!

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge

Our New Holiday Tradition...

So I haven't been in the Christmas spirit as much this year. Don't get me wrong, we already have our Christmas decorations out, and I've been playing Christmas music for weeks...but something just didn't seem right. We were talking at Thanksgiving, with our families, about gift exchange, how much to spend, etc.....when I realized the $100 plus in money that we would spend on these gifts, that we wouldn't even be able to see the person open...and would be sent via mail...something just didn't sit right. So your dad and I made a decision, to take our names out of the extended family drawing and adopt a family in need from the Salvation Army, this holiday season.

Two days ago, we were sent the family that we were matched up with. A single mom with a 2 year old and newborn, both little boys. They sent a list of things that they really wanted....most items are things we wouldn't even blink an eye at purchasing.

These last two days shopping for the family, I have been so excited, thinking about the boys opening their presents on Christmas, and what reaction the mom would have. The excitement getting together their family Christmas presents has re-instilled my excitement for this holiday season. I have found shopping for this family, has given me more joy than anything I could have bought for myself. It also has made me realize how incredibly blessed we are with what we already have.

I love getting fun gifts just as much as the next person, but never forget, Ellie, what the holiday season is really supposed to be about...helping others in need, spending time with family, and eating Christmas cookies :)

How To Adopt A Family

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give. Eleanor Roosevelt

Thankful...

Thanksgiving is in two days and I thought it would be fitting to take the time to reflect on things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for...

1. Our healthy family...without your health...you don't have anything.

2. The crazy adventure we have been on with you, Ellie, being born, watching you grow, moving to Madison, starting new careers, and still having family grow and become stronger every day.

3. The amazing friends that we have in our life.

4. Shelter, Food and the basics that we take for granted

5. That we don't have to watch what we spend down to the penny

6. Target, Facebook, twitter, e-mail, and the other nonsense things in life :)

7. Our crazy pets that love us unconditionally

8. Nate's job...and the fact that he works so hard to support us

9. Books

And

10. That you are a beautiful, spirited, animated, hilarious, loving little girl that we are so blessed to have in our lives.

I encourage everyone to take a minute and reflect on what you are thankful about...it helps keep everything in perspective!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.

Always be proud of your a-chomp-lishments

Ellie, I look at you know and it is the little things in life that make you soooo incredibly happy. I think it is ironic that I am writing to you in this blog about lessons in life, when really you are the one that teaches me about life every day. It has been amazing watching you discover the world, learn what is around you and see the excitement on your face when you see something for the first time.

Yesterday we were in the grocery store; I was not paying attention, looking at what kind of cracker to buy. You were in the shopping cart. All of a sudden, I hear you giggle/chew. You had reached behind and grabbed an apple, right out of the shopping cart, and started eating it...just like a big girl! I couldn't believe it! I had never shown you how to eat a whole apple like that. You smart little cookie...

That wasn't the only thing that melted my heart. As you were eating the apple, you had the biggest grin on your face. I'm so glad I was able to capture it in this picture. The grin was because you were so incredibly proud of yourself and so was I.  

Later on in life, it will be so easy to get down on yourself about things, not feeling good enough....but take the time to be proud of yourself and recognize the effort and hard work you put into even the little things. We are so proud of the little girl you are becoming...and always go get that extra bite out of life.

"Your value is the product of your thoughts. Do not miscalculate your self worth by multiplying your insecurities."

Faith

Faith is such a deep, intense, intimidating, beautiful, overwhelming topic. Your dad and I are both Christians. We became Christians later on in life, and still have to work at our faith every day.

It is not our place in this world to judge others, based on what their religious beliefs are, just as we wouldn't want anyone to judge us. The only one that can judge is God himself.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Matthew 7 1-5

So this is to say that I don't expect you to become a Christian if you do not want to be. I pray that you find your own path, you search for your own answers, and seek to become content with the decisions you make. I know I would not be where I am today if I didn't believe. My faith in God has shaped and continues to shape, the person I am today.

This is a sermon that I thought was quite powerful from the church that we attend.

http://www.blackhawkchurch.org/sunday/this-weeks-message/message-archive/?sermon_id=95

Most of all, I pray that you have faith in yourself, I know we always will.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

This is your second Halloween. You were only a month old last Halloween so really I feel like this is your first. You are Tinkerbell this year (I will post a picture after tonight). I was thinking about Halloween and what a fun time it is...and it got me thinking how important it is to have fun and to just laugh at yourself.

I don't really have a life lesson today...just wanted to share with you about last night. We decided to carve pumpkins to get ready for Halloween today. Of course we got a large pumpkin for daddy a a medium pumpkin for mommy and a baby pumpkin for you! You LOVED the pumpkins...last night you thought you could carry them around the house...the only one you could lift was yours.

You are getting to be so interactive, fun, and spirited. It's amazing to see the excitement you have for everything in life....it makes me realize we all should enjoy and appreciate the fun things in life.

I'm sure tonight when we go trick or treating you will be waving at everyone saying "hi!" At one years old I love that you are so outgoing and so excited each time you see someone new. I know you are going to be a hit tonight as Tink!! Happy Halloween Baby Girl!! XOXO Mommy

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

I haven't always set goals. I heard growing up, how important it was to set them. I thought it was a tedious thing to do, that didn't really make a difference. As I have gotten older, my opinion with goal setting has changed.

I have found, when I write out or even draw out my goals, I become more organized with my thoughts, and that gives me strength, and foresight to set objectives to achieve, what it is I really want to achieve.

As you get a little older, I want to pass down something that I learned from a former professor of mine, and that I used when I taught as well. It is called a Dream Board. You map out, on a poster board, all you wishes and dreams that you have for yourself. It can be short term to long term goals/dreams that you have.

I truly think we are in Madison today, because of what I was able to map out on a dream board that I created. I realized while creating it, that my passion truly is working with young women.

Anything is possible. Anything is achievable, if you put your mind to it, and work hard. With the team I am coaching right now...they are starting to believe in themselves...little by little I see it. They are starting to see that they can achieve their goals as well....the sky is the limit when you let yourself believe.

I know you will have big dreams and aspirations, set your goals high and figure out how to get there. We will support you the whole way.

I think your next big goal Ellie should be to say "I Love You" :)

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney